How to survive canine torture? There is no solution
Put yourself in my situation, dear reader: -Woof, woof, woof, woof… And more woof, woof, woof… And still woof, woof, woof, woof… And so many, many hours every day , non-stop. I live surrounded by dogs. Those on both sides are gentlemen. When we meet in the street we greet each other politely and if it weren’t for the fact that neither they nor I have mastered the respective languages, we would surely have interesting conversations about the variations in the price of light, the poetry and theater awards, if this political formation or that other one, whether it is better or not to eat without sugar… They are taken care of, obviously, by masters and mistresses of equally distinguished behavior. I think the rare times I hear them complain it’s because their coffee was too hot or the cakes that day were a little dry. Instead, the two above drive me crazy every day from eight in the morning. There is only one noise that can be compared to their barking. You know that, right? That of the AK-47. But this gun, at least, occasionally gets a bullet jammed and the mechanism fails. To the dogs upstairs in my house, no. It’s a constant, sharp, barrel-fed, explosive burst of fire. They say that dogs are the mirror of their humans. I don’t get it, but if so, I hope the owner of these two one day teaches them to do something other than woof, woof, woof. I don’t know, for example, I could take them to a lecture on quantum physics so that they learn the value of concentration and learning. Or at a protest against corruption, where they would look almost like Franciscans. But no, the dogs upstairs in my house are still with their limited vocabulary and inexhaustible desire to annoy me. You, reader, may not have dogs either and, without having anything against it, you prefer to hear the birdsong. What can you do if you experience such canine torture? Not much. Well, yes, first of all, don’t reveal any of your address details. You could be presented with a bunch of animalists accusing you of having offended such nice animals. Then, of course, I invite you to join me in starting to draft the bylaws of a future Dog-Free Neighbors Protective Association. We are very few, yes. I don’t know if we will manage to hold an assembly…
