Introduction
Sexual relationships are a topic of growing interest, especially among young people. In this article, we will explore the psychological approach to sex-affective relationships and the violence that can arise in this context.
A new terminology
In recent years, terms like ‘toxic’, ‘red flag’ and ‘stalker’ have been popularized to describe behaviors and dynamics that can be harmful in a relationship. These terms are mainly used by young people to identify situations of violence in sexual relationships.
An ancient reality
Violence in sexual relationships is not a new phenomenon. For some time, there has been talk of relationships laden with violence, sexist, racist aggression and full of privileges and powers. These dynamics are a manifestation of the structural violence that permeates young people’s relationships.
A psychological approach
Patricia Illa, specialist in sexual and couple therapy, works with teenagers, young people, adults and couples to address sex-affective relationships from a psychological perspective. Their task is to help understand how structural violence affects these relationships and how to prevent it.
Dysfunctional or maladaptive relationships
In the sex-affective field, relationships that are loaded with violence, sexist, racist aggression and full of privileges and powers are considered dysfunctional or maladaptive relationships. These dynamics generate discomfort and suffering in the people involved.
Decolonial feminism
From Psicoopera, decolonial feminism is promoted, which considers that there are different axes of oppression in the system and that some favor and others oppress. This perspective helps to understand how toxic relationships are the result of the intersection of these axes of oppression.
The term ‘toxic’
The term ‘toxic’ has gained popularity to describe relationships that are harmful and create discomfort. However, there are divided opinions on whether this term helps to make violent emotional relationships visible or if it trivializes them.
Prevention and responsibility
Importantly, preventing toxic relationships is a system-wide responsibility, not just young people’s. Holding young women and teenagers responsible for these dynamics is unfair and does not take into account the role played by the system in the perpetuation of these practices.
Toxic relationships among young people
Toxic relationships are especially prevalent among young people. These dynamics develop from the relationship they have with themselves, self-esteem and insecurities. Social networks also play an important role in how these dynamics manifest.
Jealousy the controls
Jealousy is one of the most common dynamics in toxic relationships. Social media can exacerbate this jealousy, as it allows constant access to information about other people. This jealousy is based on possession and control of the other person.
Normalized attitudes
There are many attitudes and behaviors that are normalized in the patriarchal, sexist, racist and ableist system. These behaviors are often learned and repeated by young people. Jealousy, control, and possessiveness are examples of these normalized attitudes.
Make the system responsible
Instead of holding young people accountable, it is important to hold accountable the system that allows and perpetuates these violent dynamics. It is necessary to set boundaries and work to change the attitudes and behaviors that hurt people in relationships.
Personal work and therapy
For people who have experienced violence in relationships, it is important to take center stage and work on your own mental health. This can involve personal work, therapy and pooling experiences with others who have experienced similar situations.
Recover the center of one’s life
Recovering the center of one’s life involves listening to one’s own needs, working on self-esteem and self-confidence. It is important to understand that future relationships do not have to follow the same pattern of past relationships and to look for healthy and respectful relationship models.
conclusion
Sex-affective relationships and the violence that can arise in this context are important topics that require adequate attention. It is necessary to work on prevention, make the system responsible and provide support to people who have suffered violence in relationships.
